Setting Contest 2: Planet Football

2006 Nov 29

So I finally have a real setting, brainstormed on the subway.

In the beginning, there were no pigs to skin. No, humanity’s ancestors had to risk their lives wrestling megafauna to the ground.

In stone coliseums dedicated to evil pagan gods, homo sapiens eventually overcame the Neanderthals by perfecting the halfback option.

Even around the last glacial maximum, when play was indefinitely suspended for several thousand years, it was clear that gridiron football was what distinguished mankind from the beasts and insects.

The existence of football proves that there is an intelligent creator.

Gridiron remains the true test of any people’s right to be fruitful and multiply.

Welcome to Planet Football, a planet much like our own, but a planet on which — from time immemorial — women and men have measured their worth by their ability to convert on a Third And Long. There are no wars, no crimes, no murders, no religious conflicts, and no blood feuds that are not enacted on some 100-yard stretch of Astroturf.

On Planet Football, gridiron is not the only thing there is, just the only thing that matters.

One Response to “Setting Contest 2: Planet Football”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Have you seen strat-o-matic football? It’s sort of like fantasy football but played with dice.


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