Archive for June 9th, 2009

Movie Review: Wanted

2009 Jun 9

So I picked up Wanted (a.k.a. Angelina Jolie teaches James McAvoy to curve bullets), partially to wash the taste of Transporter 3 out of my short-term memory and, I have to say, it was only slightly better, and Trans 3 is the movie in which the most extravagant, gourmet food the scriptwriter could come up with was, and I quote, “fish with carrots.” The first 20 minutes or so of Wanted was, in fact, so atrocious that I told Hannah we should just cut it off and find something on TV. While it did lift itself some distance out of the gutter once McAvoy stopped fucking around and became the bullet-bending assassin that we all knew he would, even then I found myself thinking, “Man, the comics can’t possibly be this terrible, can they?” All in all, aside from some fairly snazzy special effects, I can’t really see why anyone would want to sit through this, especially more than once.

The Board and Basic Rules

2009 Jun 9


The rules work something like this:

1. Players place their planets (dice) anywhere on the board except for the middle star. These are set to 1.
2. The player of the Chocolate Pirates places the ship (pyramid) on any remaining open space.
3. Player pawns start on their home planet.
4. Starting with the top of the list (Cream), the first player declares their destination.
5. First player draws a road in one of the three primary colors to that planet, moving their pawn there. Roads extend through the gaps surrounding hexagonal spaces, always taking the shortest route that doesn’t cross over an existing road or go through the sun. You cannot start a new road if all 3 primary colors are already in play.
6. You narrate a scene about mixing confectionery knowledge and experimenting with mad candy science.
7. The first player and planet owner swap candies, eating one of their own and the new one at the same time.
8. If the result is agreed to be yummy, that planet’s die is increased by 1 (to 2).
9. If the players do not agree that the result is yummy. The die stands.
10. The next player goes, etc.
11. You can extend roads by continuing to draw in the same color, but cannot fork them.
12. The Chocolate Pirates can sail 6 squares a turn, but cannot cross roads. If they arrive at a planet, they swap candies as normal.
13. Planets at 6 have developed a scientific solution to the chocalypse.
14. Once all planets are at 6, the chocalypse occurs and everyone eats chocolate and other candies together, instead of dying horribly. You win!